To every fan at the Rams Game that day, Rams Mascot was tough, no one upset him, no one had interfered with the biggest dream which constituted his average day.
Rams Mascot, the Star of Stars, and Sarina the Star Reporter had collided with Soldier Sam on the way to Rams Stadium.
It was Game Day and there was Bourbon in the air as they argued and started their approach to Rams Stadium. Soldier Sam was talking some trash and Rams Mascot, showed fight, apparently because Soldier Sam failed to acknowledge they were competitors for Sarina’s Attention.
Rams Mascot took a swing at Soldier Sam, who was so provoked that he put Rams Mascot on notice as they waited for Sarina to arrive at Rams Stadium.
There were many reporters stationed around Soldier Sam and they began to be pretty aggressive. They wanted a Press Conference right then and there to solicit material for their publications focused on Soldier Sam’s Space Detective Mystery Adventures.
This Press Conference is cancelled!” declared Soldier Sam. I’m just here for the Rams Game today.
Just a few Questions for you Soldier Sam!”
Soldier Sam was walking out of the Press Room but stopped to talk to the Reporters.
“Soldier Sam, we want to learn more about what you are doing to find a Detective Partner for all your Legendary Starship Activities!
“Well, Soldier Sam…” Rams Mascot jumped in. I might have a solution to your problem.
I have it on pretty good authority that Rams Team Reporter Sarina LOVES to play detective. Sarina is an Inspector Gadget fan, and she enjoys trying to solve mysteries on her own.
Sarina is ready to take on any case that presents itself.
Soldier Sam devised a brilliant way to present missions to Sarina so she truly believes she has been recruited to be a spy. You can leave it in the letterbox at the 50 Yard Line or have someone leave it at the Stadium Gate.
Watch as Sarina is transformed into a secret agent who helps the agency to solve the latest case. Storm Troopers will be directed to a website, AKA 'Headquarters' where they will unlock required media material as they solve the case, giving them a sense of achievement as the information they send headquarters leads Mission Control to solve the case and catch the mischief-makers.
If you need an activity to report on, here’s a bunch of Media Hit Sarina Spy games. There are a ton of different themes. limited only by your imagination of reference.
Do you enjoy a good mystery? If you do, then try this mystery story activity. You'll have so much fun creating new twists and turns for your favorite characters.
We searched high and low for a trench coat and an Inspector Gadget style detective hat, and lucked out with at the Dollar Store. To this we added Spy glasses with secret rear-view mirrors.
These party activities are ideal for a Pair of Detectives who enjoy a good mystery story. The literary tradition is full of great sleuths like Inspector Gadget and lots of industrious battle troopers-- Immerse yourself in all of the fascinating aspects of a classic mystery with these activities.
Mysteries are some of the most popular books sold around the world. But what's the secret to a good mystery? The hidden treasure? The Suspicious Assistant? The mysterious house guest? Or a Rouge Torpedo Master Agent?
As you read your favorite mystery, take a few notes. Keep track of the secrets your fictional sleuth uncovers as she goes about solving the mystery. Then rewrite key scenes imagining the role Sarina would play in them, changing those secrets.
How would Sarina changes affect the outcome of the story?
Only you can decide!
Soldier Sam took control of the Press Briefing Room and made a statement.
Do you know what happened to me recently? I never considered before that one day I would go into space. It was unbelievable. I saw a huge and very shiny rocket. First, I got inside the rocket. Then, I pressed a button and I heard a loud noise. Pretty much instantly, I was far away from Earth. It was very quick. Wow!
“Are you a Detective at the International Space Station, Soldier Sam?” The Press wanted to have a concrete headline for their publications.
“Why do they call you a Detective at the International Space Station?”
“Do you mind being called a Detective at the International Space Station””
“I don’t like it when people try to put me and my work into a box” answered Soldier Sam. I develop new material every day, constantly growing and changing my point of view; I am guilty of the confusion about my work,.if for no other reason that it makes the time I spend on it more interesting. Not to society. For Me and Rams Mascot.” explained Soldier Sam
The reason for the label “Detective at the International Space Station” is the lack of creativity among journalists and critics,” Rams Mascot started to explain.
You see, Soldier Sam There is a reason Press Conferences are scheduled when you get back from his Mission Duties. Soldier Sam wasn’t interested in talking about his Space Adventure Detective Mysteries but here he was, sitting in the Hot Seat.
“The motivation of the interviewer is not to get a terse, accurate answer but rather to write an interesting, slanted article within the boundaries of the editorial outlook of their particular publication, so they will be given the means to grease the production machines.
So the Press and the writers show their lack of integrity by asking blockbuster questions, the answers to which they already have, much like a chef who follows a recipe and mixes the ingredients properly.
Soldier Sam agreed.
Let’s say I’m working at the International Space Station. There’ll be Rams Mascot who brings along some of those Discovery Channel writers to Mission Control Activities and then it morphs into whole barrage of questions from the Press..
“How Does this Mission Control Package Work, Soldier Sam?”
“We pioneered a brand new form of Detective Entertainment: immersive mysteries delivered to your door or current position. We have created mysteries in partnership with some of the world's biggest Spy Agencies and we ship a brand new Space Detective Mystery Kit periodically, or whenever we feel like it.
“We’re interested, Soldier Sam! How do the Mystery Briefs work? shouted the Press Corps.
Rams Mascot jumped in with an explanation.
“Most can be solved relatively quickly depending on skill level and focus. We ship a limited number of mystery boxes each month and we often sell out.”
Each new mystery is designed to be enjoyed and solved without any knowledge of our prior mysteries. However, all of our mysteries are set in the same fictional Space location with recurring characters, locations, and storylines.
“Over time you will begin to uncover the showstopping secrets that tie all of our mysteries together. Almost all of our Mystery Delivery targets decide to stay for more rounds.”
Soldier Sam made part of his perspective clear.
But I’ll finish the Adventure Mystery Investigation get back in one of those Starships and the press comes up to me and says, “Drop everything you are doing, Soldier Sam. I’m a member of the press, and I’d like you to talk about your adventure with me.
Rams Mascot says these press clubs are essential to my job and they are very interested in our Mystery Boxes.
“You ever work on Saturn, Soldier Sam? Lots of people like you there, and you’ll really do great. You’ll win ’em over For Sure. You’ll have a lot of fun. Have you ever surfed Saturn’s Rings?”
The only thing is, I know that in these press clubs, pretty much anywhere in the world where people know how to read, the members of the Press in the audience are more used to asking questions than I am at answering them. The most I can say to the Press is, “Thank you, I’ve had enough to eat today. I don’t need to grab something in the Green Room.”
But they keep asking you questions, Soldier Sam” instructed Rams Mascot. Tell them just a bit about your travels.
“Well, the whole mission package had no sense of acceleration. The universe seemed to be revolving around our Station.”
“Shortly after landing, I saw something suspect. It was a Planet X spaceship. I was surprised. Next, one of the Suspects got out and I asked him a question: “What your problem with us? ‘
I didn’t get an answer, but instead he asked me: ‘‘what is your name?’’
I said “Soldier Sam”. Then, the Suspect gave me an Orange Box.
When I opened it, I saw it was a Mini UFO. I liked it very much. I also wanted to be nice. I found a flag, which I was supposed to put on the Moon. So, I gave it to him and he disappeared.
“You see, I get to these Pressers and the first thing that ticks me off is that they’ve scheduled the interviews during the afternoon. I really am hungry for dinner, it’s just that I can’t stand talking to anyone any more than I have to do when I am sitting here like this doing what I’m forced to do.”
I go to a Presser and it’s not even dinnertime yet. Who can tell stories when I’m hungry for dinner? It’s not even dark out yet. I don’t want to be here, Rams Mascot. It’s almost Gametime and I haven’t even started drinking my bottle of Bourbon yet, man Can’t you take some of these questions for me? They are just delaying the reservations I made at Burger King.”
“We aren’t holding you up for dinner, Soldier Sam. It’s just we have to get paid for our dinners too. People want to read this stuff.”
Some of you look familiar from some of the Info Specials they show at the Space Adventure Society Mission Preps but I’ve never been to Rams Stadium before. Then I realize you people here right now are only here to write a story in the Tabloids, you know what customers buy when they are in line at the Grocery.”
These kind of Pressers have nothing to do with anything notable like the stuff we review at the Space Adventure Society. You guys are like a Wolfpack attacking me just to get a line in your Papers.
“Ok Ok Soldier Sam. Why don’t you talk some about what’s in the Box you were talking about before? You know, the one you received on Planet X.”
We're not going to tell you. Part of the experience is you discovering what’s in the box yourself and figuring out on your own how each item relates to your Starship Mystery investigation. Then and only then you should write up your full story.
“But we'll give you a Clue” Rams Mascot indicated.
Past boxes have included items such as a Perimeter of delivery, suspect profiles, Key Chains with an important purpose, investigation notes, a mysterious letter, event scene photos, suspect interview excerpts, forensic evidence, a poker chip with an important logo, a newspaper article with important information, an ID security card, a matchbook with a handwritten message, a passport, suspect photos, a coded journal, and much more.
“Even a Mystery Ring” Soldier Sam jumped back into the interview.
“Tell Me More!” the press asked.
Once I got to the space station I was greeted by Rams Mascot! Rams Mascot told me his satellites had recorded the mischief that our adversaries
And the conversation was on the level of, “Is it true about everything that was in the Box?”
That’s all I have to say” Soldier Sam was ready for Rams Mascot to wrap up the Presser.:
“The most interesting thing in the Box was a Magic Ring” Soldier Sam was done answering questions.
Ready to Print Your Spy Activity Pack? Asked Rams Mascot.
There’s a fun spy word search, options for mystery story live show, and the create your own code page that we talked about.”.
When you print the pack, you’ll get these pages without the watermark on them. It’s there to deter people who will steal these for their printable coloring page websites.
We’re on It, Soldier Sam” The Press seem satisfied with the Press Conference at this point. After all, that was behind most of the intention, anyways. They wanted to write up the story themselves.
“Good Luck Writing up your Tabloid Story.” Soldier Sam started walking away from the Space Adventure Podium and carried an Orange Box out of the Briefing Room.
“Just one more Question, Soldier Sam!” the most persistent of the Reporters asked.
“You always wear a seatbelt when you are cruising through Space solving your Intergalactic mysteries?”
I wear a special space-suit when I am hired as a Space Detective. I always have a helmet on my head, earphones and microphone. I run the operation at the front of the HQs with a seatbelt to stop me from floating around the rocket ship.
Suddenly, there was a Space Detective Mystery when I took off my seat-belt, I was floating around because there isn’t any gravity.
So yeah, I wear a seatbelt when I am in the spaceship.
“Do you wear them all the time?”
“Do you have one on now?”
“Well, what do you do if you have to tell your detective partner, ‘I’m going to put a seatbelt on now’—it’s going to ruin the whole intergalactic mission.”
I ask Rams Mascot at mission control if I have to put one on.
“Are you crazy or something?”
“No, I figure it’s something to do. We’ll both put seatbelts on. We’ll take a picture.”
“Now, get the hell out of here, you nut, you.”
I can’t help it, though. Seatbelts are so dumb. They’re sold for the prevention of fun in space.
As far as detective partners are concerned, these press conferences are no good for getting a partner to trust you.
The mission control planners ask you where you want to go in space It’s really a hang-up. Every potential detective I meet, the first thing they hit me with is, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a partner you think I am, but I know you space detectives, you’ve got all those temp partners from the agency and they’re all ready for you and I’m not gonna...”
“That’s a lie, I never met nobody from the detective agency that’s any good!”
“Never mind, I know you have no problem getting detective partners to solve your space mysteries. You get all you want.”
“I don’t!” Soldier Sam responded.
That’s what everybody thinks” Soldier Sam continued. “But there’s nobody decent at the temp agency. That’s why Inspector Gadget never finds a partner to solve his mystery cases.”
It’s the best thing is not to ball Inspector Gadget. “Listen, now, they all ball him, I’m not gonna ball him.” And that detective always plays roles on Earth. I have real world space adventure mysteries to solve.
It’s a real hang-up, not having a decent partner when you’re on the road to space. Suppose it’s three o’clock in the morning, I’ve just done the last mystery prep plan, I meet some detective partner who wants to work with me,
At first I think they could be a decent partner and I even decided to review the case with them, putting out all the facts that are known and gauge their opinion.
I usually just want to talk to them, nothing extra until I’m convinced they could be a real asset to solving the case, that’s it. Nothing more.
But because the detective parties where I go, just talking about the facts to one of your cases is considered too much. Like a dirty word, I can’t say to a potential detective partner, “Would you like to solve a case with me on another planet?”
And Lots of people presenting mystery cases to solve on another planet has given “Planet” such a bad connotation that I couldn’t even ask a friend of mine ”Say I want to go over facts with you about another planet at three in the morning.
The next day in the middle of the afternoon, when the Space Adventure Club meets there, then “Planet” is clean. But at three o’clock in the morning, where the hell can you go over a Mystery Case that’s clean?
You can’t say “Planet” to potential detective partner you try to think, what won’t offend? What is a clean word to the Detective Society? What is a clean word that won’t offend people who go to a Detective Party just to Network?...
What about “Just a ride in a Starship. That’s it, Starship. Will you pilot my Starship. There’s no harm in that, right?”
“All right, there’s nothing bad about asking potential detective partners to take a Trip in a Starship. It just doesn’t take it to the next level like asking to find a Planet
Starships are for intergalactic battles, cruising at warp speed and taking target practice. Yes, of course, I’ll take a trip on a Starship. Where are you going?
. Yes, of course, I’ll come on out and check out the Starship. Where is it?”
“On another Planet. Oh, Fuck, that won’t work” I’m not supposed to say “Planet”
Why can’t you just say, “I want to partner up with you to solve the biggest mystery in Space.”
No, it’s “Come up and set a course for the Ultimate Coordinates. Just don’t say “Planet.” Or Bourbon. “Let’s have a bottle of Bourbon.
“In 10 years, the word Bourbon will be banned too on this Planet.” Solider Sam complained.
A hot mic at at the next Space Mystery Adventure Presser recorded Soldier Sam making a joke to the best Mascot in the Business.
“I’ve been joking with Rams Mascot” said Soldier Sam.. Did you see that? He’s going to have a rotating first lady. He’s a bro with no ho,” in comments to the International Space Station Press Corps.
We asked people from Chicago if they'd heard the term.
By the way, if you search for "bro with no ho" on Urban Dictionary at this point, there might be a definition there. Because we added it.
.But what do you say about a Detective who had never had a decent partner on his Space Adventure Missions some have wondered if he would be going crazy when he is assigned to the International Space Station without a partner if he were to win the contest.
Soldier Sam’s comments have been criticized by the Media as being insensitive.
Later at the next Presser Soldier Sam acknowledged as much, saying he regretted the remarks.
Soldier Sam was the latest Space Detective Press Corps victim of those relentlessly scheming microphones-that-people-don't-realize-are-on.
The ‘We Love Everyone” Focus Group picked up Soldier Sam’s comments riffing on the idea that, in the unlikely event Rams Mascot wins the contest that he would have a "rotating first lady."
If no decent Detective Partner comes through in the Clutch.
"I've been joking with Rams Mascot, 'cause he doesn't have ... did you see that?" Soldier Sam said during a recent Field Exercise... "He'll have a 'rotating first lady.' He's a bro with no ho."
So, that's a tough conversation to have with Media Action Groups.
But then Soldier Sam added something else: "That's what we'd say on the street." The last word is a bit muffled, to be fair, but it certainly seems like he says "street."
Let's set aside that most Space Detectives do not spend a lot of time on the "streets." Let's instead focus on this: Who says this, exactly?
A search for the expression in the news-story database returns only on similar entry, which doesn't use the expression itself. It is titled, "Yo, bro, no 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' "
"'What we say on the streets? I can't imagine what streets he's talking about. Maybe while he was writing up that Manifesto? I have never heard the phrase before in Chicago. So maybe I'm not hanging out on the streets enough."
Soldier Sam told the Media to drop it. No one searches for the expression on google.
Rams Mascot’s sisters appeared to be having fun with white-bread reporters when they replied off the record, "Nope. Is that a riff on 'bros before hos' that everybody has heard of?" Since it appears to have no background, it's impossible to know.
Rams Mascot’s sisters said, according to an unidentified source that "We've certainly seen and heard a lot -- especially on big Chicago sports days when people seem to go nuts. But this phrase? No."
So apparently, Soldier Sam don’t have a lot of tact.
The Internet hasn't heard the expression just like, supposedly, Rams Mascot’s sisters haven't heard the expression in Chicago. Well at least according to what they say to the Press.
But feel free to speak up in in the Comments Section!
. Whichever "streets" Soldier Sam got the phrase from are, as yet, unidentified.